so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
