I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
