I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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