I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
