went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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