I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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