can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
