Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
