Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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