I just made out with a guy for $7.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this must be what syphilis tastes like
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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