Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
