If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
