At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize