Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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