I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
