apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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