I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
