I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She's the barista slut.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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