Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
