about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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