yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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