So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
