I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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