No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
