tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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