I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
