Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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