He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
