Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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