Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
