he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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