Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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