In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Everyone says I win the strip club
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
