You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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