hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
