I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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