how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
