its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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