Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
