and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
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so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
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I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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