we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
