I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize