So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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