when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
