I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
