tell your sister to shave her snatch
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
