why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize