That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
