It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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