she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
