remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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