soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
