hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
