You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
wanna go halves on a baby?
i think i have two assholes
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize