he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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