dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
