i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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