Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
