Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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