Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think my mom watched the whole time
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
