you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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