Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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